Take a break!

Telephone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office....

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones

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Prospective Employer to Applicant: 'So why did you leave your previous job?'
Applicant: 'The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'

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You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very
loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music. When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realized . . . that you have your MP3 player on your ears !

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WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: 'GO TO HELL', that's why I came home early.

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John: It's my wife's birthday...
Peter: What's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: What did she said?
John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
Peter: What did you gave her?
John: Playing cards

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After having failed his exam in 'Logistics and Organization', a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student : 'Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?'

Professor : 'Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!'

Student : 'Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as it is and go. However, if you do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam.'

Professor : 'Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?'

Student : 'What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?'

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers : 'Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.'

src : fwd email